How do we explain our last five years?
Think of a landscape. A vista of gently rolling plains, our day-to-day life, interspersed with hills of activity, pinnacles of happiness and, thankfully, only a few valleys of disappointment. And meandering through it all a single waterway, our quest to build a family.
Don’t think of a gently flowing river here, more of a raging torrent, the two of us in a flimsy canoe. Off we would paddle at every opportunity, caught up in the frantic current, heady and confusing, spinning us with euphoria and hope. Sometimes we would encounter a quiet pool of tranquility filled with hope, but inevitably it would lead to a waterfall. Crashing, always abrupt, always final. The worse fall was the unspeakable anguish of loosing our three little souls, one by one, too small to make it on their own nearly shattering our small canoe. Next followed the unrelenting dreariness and illogical demands of our adoption journey that nearly drove us to distraction (and drink!). These were our dark times, but after each waterfall we righted ourselves back up, gave each other solace and courage and proceeded. And today we are out in the open sea. And the canoe carries four.
What about our pinnacles? Here are a few:
The adventure and excitement of building our own house in Umbria. The challenge of merging Michael’s request for ‘views, Barbeques and pool’ with Orietta’s wish for ‘cool spacious interiors, tons of storage space and order & comfort’. This house has already given us so much! An excuse to travel to Italy, meet up with friends and family and sample the food, wine and lifestyle. A dose of pragmatism during boring times at work at the thought of what our salary is contributing to. A way to further explore our talents and tastes! And dreams of lazy days in the sun shared with family and loved friends once the house is completed.
All the firsts of our journey to parenthood. The first time we see a photo of our children, our hearts filled with joy, wonder and trepidation. The first time we meet them, Andrea dynamic, engaging and bossy. Olivia scared, untrusting and withdrawn. Our first night together, waking up at dawn to find Michael and Andrea in each other’s arms – one protective and tender, the other trusting and comfortable in his papa’s embrace. As though it had always been so.
And all the firsts of our lives together. Their first ice cream, first flight, first encounter with a cow, first day in the pool. Olivia’s excitement the first time she said ‘hiya’ on the phone and it actually answered back. Andrea’s delight and confusion the first time he felt rain on his face.
Our landscape today is Scottish. The plains are green, luscious in the rain, resplendent in the sunshine. Life relaxed and hustle free. The house is large and welcoming, the fire warms our bodies and souls in the long winter nights, the views from the windows lift our spirits and remind us how lucky we are. The sight of our sleeping children in the room at the top of the stairs a constant source of wonder, tenderness and gladness.
How do we summarise these few years? The quiet joy of waking up in each other’s arms, of late sometimes roused by a child’s voice or hand. The barter and warmth of good friends over a glass of wine. Trips to far away places. Sunsets on the beach or on a sailing boat. The unexpected kindness of strangers. Our children blossoming under our love and care and filling our lives with laughter and mischief. A plethora of snapshots collected in our memory chest. This is what we most cherish from our last five years.
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